Listen: Texas girls do not do their own hair.
As Truvy Jones says:
I don’t trust anyone who does their own hair; I don’t think it’s natural.
That’s because it’s not, honey. Granted this was a Louisianan’s quip, but when it comes to hair, we two states share a lot of cultural similarities.
DIY is reserved for holiday parties, gift baskets to the troops overseas, and other arts and crafts we post on Pinterest. Most of us were Girl Scouts and/or went to camp, after all. So while we may oooh and ahhh over Princess Kate—especially now that she’s going to have a baby!!—there are no translations for her at-home beauty regime in our particular English-language dialect.
But what’s a girl to do on New Year’s Eve when all the salons are booked and some are even closed because it’s a Monday? I won’t even say it…it’s just too shameful to type.
But I will say this: the really difficult thing about giving yourself a blowout is that by the time you get to the crown, your arm is so tired that it’s a real coup to get that salon-quality height. But I did it, like a good Texan girl, because my women-folk were pioneers and I have hardship in my blood.
Some pre-party preps that aren’t hard as hair? Here’s my favorite:
Slough off 2012 and watch your skin sparkle like a midnight toast of bubbly. It’s manufactured in several scents, but the eucalyptus is especially refreshing on the last day of the year. At Neiman Marcus Stores.
If your face is feeling snubbed scrubbed from the exfoliation fest, extend a last minute invitation to the pamper party with Philosophy’s Microdelivery Peel:
Philosophy products available At skinstore.com
And once you’re done rubbing it all in, your fingers deserve some love too:
Completely ridiculous, but so festive! And an upside: if you still don’t know what you’re going to wear when the clock strikes 12, you at least know your manicure will match. At Sephora stores and online at sephora.com
So who needs salons, really? Looking good doesn’t have to be costly, y’all. If indeed we do fall over the fiscal cliff in 2013, let’s make like 2012’s London gymnasts and tumble in style. I’m wiggling my glittery little finger at you, former Soviet states. You ladies always have the most glitter in your hair, what’s up with that?
Happy New Year!